El Bebé Que No Llora, No Come

Two things are certain about conflict, it’s uncomfortable and inevitable. More often than not, a conflict arises because of the lack of communication. I've been here. 

There's a Spanish saying, "El bebé que no llora no come."

A dear friend (@acevvvedo) explained it like this, 

"When a baby is hungry, it cries. If the baby doesn’t cry, how will the parents know to feed it?” 

From the moment a baby comes out of the womb, it communicates. You hear a loud cry, and you know everything is alright. If you don't hear the baby cry, everyone in the room becomes concerned.

As we continue to grow this form of communication stays with us until we can form proper words. If we need a diaper change or food, we cry. It's instinctual.

What happens next? Our parent tends to those needs.

When Angel explained this to me, I was enlightened. As an adults, we should do the same!

It's critical, for any relationship to remain healthy that we communicate our needs, wants, concerns, feelings, and boundaries. 

However, for one reason or another, we do the opposite. We shut down. I shut down and it's months, maybe years later and we're pissed about something a person said or did, and guess what? They have NO IDEA those words or actions were an issue for you.

So how do we avoid this method of communicating?

We choose to be intentional in feeling all the feelings, processing the emotions and experience and simply communicate. Easier said than done, right?

I leave you with this, choose to communicate when it's hard and uncomfortable because peace and resolve can be the result.

Love, Rita

Collective Emotions

Sunday, February 9th, 2020. 

The Miami Marathon 

Collective Emotions, a black and white collection featuring some of the participants of the Miami Half and Full Marathon toward the end of their race. I chose to feature all images in black and white because no matter what your running background is, once you choose to cross the starting line, its fair game to experience a surplus of emotions. Hence everyone running the race will collectively feel the same emotion at some point during their journey.

Here’s a few to begin, joy, determination, frustration, tiredness, pride, worry, anticipation, camaraderie, a sense of struggle, a sense of accomplishment, excitement, and the list goes on. You never know what you’ll get and each run/race is different. Who knows you may even experience both laughter and tears.

A moment running is a raw moment with yourself, where it’s simply you. Every part of your being is participating in this moment. Your efforts, months or days of training, your beliefs, your dreams, your mistakes, your thoughts, your breaths, your body, all are present with you.

Someone once told me, "You will never get this run again, so take it all in." The scenery, the crowd, the rhythm of your feet hitting the ground, your breaths - in and out, the wind on your skin, the birds chirping, the people you pass - all these variables make up a moment that cannot be duplicated. These are moments you run, you will never get back. Enjoy it.

Open heart, strong mind.

Love, Rita

What a $3 Dollar Muffin Taught Me

Our life is made up of ordinary, mundane moments, but also moments that are life-changing and pivotal. Moments that shift our thinking and put us on a path where we may not know where we are headed. All you know is that you are moving. It may be the moment you laid eyes on the person who is now your husband or wife. Or the moment you made the decision to go to college or build a habit. The truth is our lives are made up of both. The moment I want to share with you is the moment I bought a $3 muffin on a flight back to Miami. Sunday, September 16th, 2018.

What an "ordinary moment", I thought. But, oh my friend, that $3 muffin brought me here -- to write this blog. It brought me to a place of awareness.  

It was the best and worst $3 I could have spent on this muffin.

Let me explain. 

Prior to buying this muffin, I was at a three-day conference called "Thrive," in Las Vegas, Nevada.  A conference I’ve never heard of, or even knew existed. The only reason I attended was that my bosses, Dave and Brittany, made it a quarterly incentive to go. I am grateful they did! Walking into this I thought it was going to be about business and marketing... i.e the latest strategies, and trends, but it was so much more.

Now I am new to the world of business and entrepreneurship. Only recently, I’ve discovered I want to own multiple businesses.  

I am a creative first.  

At least that is what I always told myself. Something that is commonly expressed about creatives is that they "aren't good at business."  I’ve heard that phrase so often, I began to place myself in that closed box. 

To me, having a business has always been a terrifying thought. Intimidating. “Could I really run a business?” Money scares me because I’ve never seen a healthy way to use money or manage it.

All I know, is deep down inside I want to help people, financially. Period. 

This desire comes from my childhood and how I was raised. When you grow up in a broken home, where your mom is working two jobs to provide for her seven children, your father is an immigrant from Mexico who works hard laborious hours you know there has to be a better way of life. All of my older siblings worked throughout high school to help around the house. I can remember times where we went without electricity or food. When Christmas time came around, people would donate presents, food, even a Christmas tree to us. People were constantly showing us generosity. This was my normal. I’ve always said, God shows me his love through people and he always has proven Himself faithful time and time again.

From a young age I wanted better for me and my family, so I challenged myself to be the best I could be in school. I strived to make the grades, be around people I could learn from, try to succeed at sports. In my senior year of high school, I decided I would go to college. I would be the first one in my family to take that leap. When I share that fact about myself, people always are amazed and the truth is I did what I had to do. I pushed myself to get out of that hole because I wanted to show others it was possible, especially my family. For me, education, college was the way out. Looking back on my life now, at age 24. Everything I’ve gone through has only made me stronger, and is apart of my story being written.

You may ask what does this have to do with the $3 muffin? Stay with me.

At this conference, the single mission was to inspire people to make their money matter. To my surprise, I was in a room with multi-millionaires and multi-billionaires. These people are changing the world with their skills, talent, knowledge, time, money, heart, passion, and most importantly with their stories. To say this conference changed my life is an understatement. Story after story, I was inspired and challenged. I cried. I laughed. I reflected and I dreamed. I'm still humbled and blessed to have heard all of the speakers. Naveen Jain, a man who's mindset and heart captivated me was one of them. His mission is to change the course of humanity by making sickness optional through, Viome. I heard from Molly Bloom, Gerard Adams, Cole Hatter, and my other thought leaders. I left that conference blessed, empowered, and ready to change the world. 

Before I could do that, I knew one thing stood in my way, my mindset.

Mindset is everything. (A concept I am learning about.)

So fast forward to my flight back. The muffin and its significant impact on me! 

On the way back, Brittany, Dave, and I decided not to eat dinner. Our flight took off at 5 pm PST and we wouldn't get back in until 1 am EST.  An hour into the flight, I was starving! My only choice was to buy a snack. By the way, I flew Spirit, so you buy everything. 

Here is a bit of a backstory, I am on a mission to create a healthier lifestyle for myself.  I envision myself being fit, lean and running half a marathon soon. I have always been thinner but in recent years, with age I’m not exactly where I want to be. So recently, I’ve taken steps to create a healthier more disciplined life.

I initially bought a cheese and crackers tray, it was the healthiest option on the menu. I scarfed it down in like .5 seconds, I was so hungry! At this point, I was content. Then the flight attendant comes back around, asking if we wanted anything else. On impulse, and out of pure craving, I bought a $3 muffin. Immediately, I regretted it and I was vocal about it.

Dave said to me, “You still have a choice.” I thought, but "do I really?"  I replied, “Well, I bought the muffin so I am going to eat it”.  And I did just that and it was disgusting. I continued to eat it because I spent $3 on it! 

As I’m putting pieces of this muffin in my mouth that I'm not even enjoying, my brain went into straight process mode. I started asking myself, “Why did I do that? Why did I let my want outweigh what I'm trying to accomplish? Why am I eating this garbage? Did I really have a choice? Why did I respond to Dave with, "I bought it so I am going to eat?" 

This entire weekend, all the promises, commitments, dreams, visions, I have for myself, for my future, and for my body. Did it all go to waste?

Oh yeah, MINDSET IS EVERYTHING!

Now, on to the part you are really here for…

This $3 muffin and what it taught me, 

1. I operate with a scarcity mindset. If I am being honest and vulnerable, money scares me. I lived my whole life without it and now that I am finally making money I’m afraid their is never enough. (If you don’t know what scarcity mindset is, check out the link above, it’s a good read.)

2. I deserve more. My body deserves more. I have never been on any type of diet. I have never been conscious of what I put in my body. If I want the results I’m after, I’m going to have to change the way I think about what I eat. My body deserves to have healthy food that will give me energy and benefit me.

3. There is work to be done. what can I say? I’m not where I want to be. all i know is it is going to take a daily commitment to retrain my mind to achieve and create the life i want.

Jesse Itzler, a multi-billionaire, spoke at Thrive this weekend and was phenomenal. At the end of his talk, he said,

"If you don’t remember anything I say, remember these two words, “REMEMBER TOMORROW”, because what you do today, affects your tomorrow." 

-Jesse Itzler

That $3 muffin taught me the truth of where I am, the mindset and belief about myself that I’ve held on to for so long.

As the saying goes, "sitting in a garage doesn't make you a car" and same is true about being in a room with world-class leaders. What this conference, and these world changers showed me is anything is possible, as long as I "inherit a world-class mindset."

I am determined to create the life I deserve and envision for myself and my family. I have big dreams to create massive influence in people who don’t think it’s possible. I want to make my money matter.

 But to do it… I can’t buy the $3 muffin anymore. Mindset is everything. 

Watch the video below to check out Naveen Jain's talk on a scarcity mindset. Life-changing. Feel free to share this blog with anyone who might walk in a scarcity mindset. We can change the world, one mind at a time!

-Love Rita

RESOURCES:

Recap of Thrive Podcast- Build Your Network